50 Spaceballs Quotes From The Ridiculous Comedy
Of all the movies that are quotable, Spaceballs is pretty high up there on the list. We hope you enjoy our list of the most quotable Spaceballs quotes.
This hilarious, fourth-wall-breaking, 1987 space spoof on the well-loved Star Wars films has carved itself a spot on the Hollywood classics list.
Just like all of Mel Brooks’ work, Spaceballs is outrageously funny, goofy, and filled with quotable lines. And even though some jokes don’t hold up to the test of time, we still love this film overall.
These Spaceballs quotes are sure to replay this classic film in your head and have you laughing out loud in no time.
Don’t forget to also check out these Dune quotes from the novel that reshaped science fiction.
The best Spaceballs quotes
1. “May The Schwartz Be With You.” — Yogurt
2. “Ludicrous Speed, Go!” — Dark Helmet
3. “I bet she gives great helmet.” — Dark Helmet
4. “God willing, we’ll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.” — Yogurt
5. “That was my virgin-alarm. It’s programmed to go off before you do!” — Dot Matrix
6. “There’s only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Starr!” — Dark Helmet
Spaceballs quotes by Dark Helmet
7. “WHAT? You went over my helmet?” — Dark Helmet
8. “You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let’s see how well you handle it.” — Dark Helmet
9. “And what have we got on this thing, a Cuisinart?” — Dark Helmet
10. “We’re At Now Now.” — Dark Helmet
11. “I Knew It! I’m Surrounded By A**Holes.” — Dark Helmet
12. “So The Combination Is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That’s The Stupidest Combination I Ever Heard In My Life!” — Dark Helmet
13. “So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.” — Dark Helmet
14. “What’s the matter, Colonel Sandurz?! Chicken?!!” — Dark Helmet
15. “What have I done?! My brains are going into my feet!” — Dark Helmet
16. “F*ck! Even in the future nothing works!” — Dark Helmet
17. “Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don’t mean your pals in the Winnebago.” — Dark Helmet
18. “Commence operation [pause] “Vacu-Suck”!” — Dark Helmet
19. “I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted!” — Dark Helmet
20. “Now we’ll show her who is in charge of this galaxy.” — Dark Helmet
21. “So Princess Vespa, you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of Planet Spaceball. Well, you were wrong. You are now our prisoner and you will be held captive until such time as all the air is transferred from your planet… to ours.” — Dark Helmet
Spaceballs quotes by Lone Starr
22. “Buckle up back there, we’re going into…”Hyperactive”!” — Lone Starr
23. “We’re not just doing it for money…We’re doing it for a shitload of money!” — Lone Starr
24. “Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland?” — Lone Starr
25. “Helmet. So, at last, we meet for the first time for the last time.” — Lone Starr
26. “Spaceballs? Forget it, too dangerous. Besides, I’m already numero uno on Dark Helmet’s hit list.” — Lone Starr
27. “You Listen! On This Ship, You’re To Refer To Me As ‘Idiot,’ Not ‘You Captain.’ I Mean … You Know What I Mean.” — Lone Starr
Spaceballs quotes by President Skroob
28. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That’s amazing! I’ve got the same combination on my luggage!” — President Skroob
29. “The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over.” — President Skroob
30. “Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big?!” — President Skroob
31. “I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!” — President Skroob
32. “Where the hell are we, Paris?!?” — President Skroob
33. “Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t make decisions. I’m a president!” — President Skroob
34. “One pod left and three of us and I’m the President. Well, boys, it’s a very lovely ship. I think you should go down with it.” — President Skroob
Spaceballs quotes by Dot Matrix
35. “Not in here, Mister. This is a Mercedes!” — Dot Matrix
36. “It’s either the 4th of July or someone’s trying to kill us!” — Dot Matrix
37. “We’ll have none of that mister! How far did he get? What’d he touch?” — Dot Matrix
38. “Here I am! I’m sorry! I had to make a pit-stop! I’m so excited that I couldn’t hold my oil.” — Dot Matrix
39. “Goodbye, virgin alarm.” — Dot Matrix
Spaceballs quotes by Barf
40. “Look your highness, it’s not that we’re afraid, far from it. It’s just that we’ve got this thing about death; it’s not us.” — Barf
41. “I’m a Mawg. Half-man, half-dog. I’m my own best friend.” — Barf
42. “They’ve gone to plaid!” — Barf
43. “I’ll have the cleavage, I mean the special.” — Barf
Other memorable Spaceballs quotes
44. “No, no, no, stupid, you’ve got it much too high. It’s down here where the shoulder meets the neck.” — Megamaid Guard
45. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland going right past the altar, heading down the ramp and out the door!” — Minister
46. “I’ve lost the bleeps, I’ve lost the sweeps, and I’ve lost the creeps.” — Radar Technician
47. “My Hair! He Shot My Hair! Son Of A B****.” — Princess Vespa
48. “Excuse Me, I’m Trying To Conduct A Wedding Here, Which Has Nothing To Do With Love! Please Be Quiet!” — Minister
49. “No Sir, I Didn’t See You Playing With Your Dolls Again!” — Colonel Sandurz
50. “It’s Mega Maid! She’s Gone From Suck To Blow.” — Colonel Sandurz
Did these Spaceballs quotes make you laugh?
51. “Keep firing, assholes!” — Lord Dark Helmet
52. “I can’t breathe in this thing!” — Lord Dark Helmet
53. “What the HELL was that?!” — Barf the Mawg Co-Pilot
54. “Who made that man a gunner?” — Lord Dark Helmet
55. “Fuck! Even in the future nothing works.” — Lord Dark Helmet
56. “But Yogurt, what if I never see you again?” — Lone Starr Space Bum
57. “Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.” — Lord Dark Helmet
58. “GET BACK HERE YOU FAT BEARDED BITCH!” — Lord Dark Helmet
59. “How many Asshole’s we got on this ship, anyhow?” — Lord Dark Helmet
60. “I lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps and I lost the creeps.” — Radar Technician
Are you a Spaceballs fan
Mel Brooks has a talent for making movies so bad that they’re good, and Spaceballs may be the best in his collection. Featuring the talents of Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, Daphne Zuniga, and John Candy, Spaceballs is a movie that is still making people laugh more than 30 years after its theatrical debut.
Whether or not you’re a fan of sci-fi, if you’re a fan of the outrageous, the stupid, and the goofy, then you are probably a fan of Spaceballs, too.
Did you enjoy these Spaceballs quotes and lines? Which quote was your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.
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